Portrait of a Princess

當童話中的公主遇上殘酷的現實,在花園向小孩子說故事的時候,可怕的內容把小孩們都嚇走。

由 Michael 作曲,Julie Atherton 演繹的「Portrait of a Princess」,利用「白雪公主」這個人物,諷刺童話的美夢。

雖然不是主流公司發行,但這是一首絕對不容錯過的歌曲!

歌詞:

A Princess is, A Princess is
A Disney princess yes, yes, yes
And a Princess knows
That the story goes
Once upon a time
And after that it sucks. Blows

My skin as white as snow
In floral curtains head to toe
I daily twitter ‘oh, oh, oh’
But just in a Disney way
Oh, just in a Disney way
Yes, just in a Disney way

I never get obese
I talk to ducks and geese
They wipe themselves on the mantelpiece
But just in a Disney way

And Oh! Isn’t it grand
My prince is gonan ride here from a far off land
And so, maybe its corny
But a princess is a girl, you know we get a little…horny

My house is made of trees
I sweep it free of leaves
Sing along with a song about the birds and the bees
But just in a Disney way

I dance around and hum
Poke spindles with my thumb
Fall asleep while I wait for my prince to come
But just in a Disney way (Ah ah ah ah etc)

My prince was on his way
To breach me from the fray
And later on we’d hey hey hey
But just in a Disney way

He knelt for me
I looked at him
We drank ourselves to oblivion
He rode me home, I took him in
But just in a Disney way

Oh, wasn’t he swell
Although in truth he got it wrong,
he thought that I was Cinderella
Oh why is it so
All I wants’ a wealthy heir to climb my hair and say hello

This prince, well he’s a bum
He swings ad nauseam
As far as fairies go this prince he sure is one

He’d rather ride his horse than me
He’d rather sit him on his knee
This isn’t how meant to be no dammit,
not in a Disney way

Well I’ve got dwarves, dwarves, little people, little people, little people, dwarves, little people, little people, dwarves, dwarves, little people, little people, dwarves, dwarves, dwarves, sweep, sweep, clean, clean, clean, sweep, sing, cook, clean, sweep, tweet tweet, tweet tweet, sing, sing, sleep, sleep, sing, sing, sleep sleep, sleep!

Shalom! Good evening, my friends
I’d like to introduce you to example two
A girl we knew
It’s sad but true
Cinderella

She’s a bit of a mess
A pumpkin is her carriage
And she’s slipper-less
But still she caught a prince!
She got a dress
She caught a coupla’ other things we probably shouldn’t readdress
But she’s a princess, yes

And I gotta live with these seven randy little f-
aaaaaaaa-ah-ah etc

So, it wasn’t meant to be
No prince was sent for me
No love to last eternally
And not in a Disney way

Been knocked up by a troll
Who has no heart or soul
But fell right down my rabbit hole
And not in a Disney way And Oh!

Isn’t it bliss
Even Shirley temple never had to deal with shit like this
And Oh! Couldn’t I cry
Us older girls don’t stand a chance, we’re not enhanced by CGI.
CGI!

I’ve got dwarves, dwarves, little people, little people, dragons, witches, swords, but I want love
And not in a Disney waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Okay!

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